Nº 007 — Super Mabio Ross
CAT-2024-007Not LEGO. Legally and spiritually.
Completed assembly. Front view. Licensing status remains unclear
Classification
A 1,686-piece miniature block construction set of Chinese manufacture, bearing a strong resemblance to a well-known Danish interlocking brick system. The packaging identifies the subject as "Super Mabio Ross." No further clarification was provided or sought.
Acquisition
Arrived sometime before the December holiday — the annual one celebrating the birth of a carpenter, which tradition has converted into a mandate to fill the human face-hole with an unreasonable volume of food. Theologically, this qualifies as gluttony. Nobody seems concerned.
Field observations: seasonal context
The assembly was delayed by the standard holiday obligations. Family NPCs arrived on schedule — aunts and uncles carrying expensive wine, pouring exactly two large glasses each, consumed with the urgency of someone watering a dying plant.
Also present: the mildly attractive cousin-by-marriage, who entered the family by unclear circumstances and now exists primarily to make the room slightly more uncomfortable. Function within the group remains undetermined.
Theological note
The following Friday is a public holiday designated for reflecting on the torture and execution of the messiah. According to the best-selling publication attributed to him, a spear was inserted into his abdomen. By comparison, overeating seems like a minor offense.
Assembly completed over the holidays. With friends, not family. This was the correct decision.
Nº 001 — Sanskulla
A kalimba mounted on an autopsy-cut human skull top. Nine tines tuned to A minor. The calvaria functions as a resonance dish. You cannot play a wrong note. Reportedly.
Nº 002 — Early works (age 14)
Recovered from a box labeled "childhood stuff." Originally catalogued as creativity. Reclassified on review as something else entirely.
Nº 004 — 428
A skull constructed from 428 newspaper obituary clippings, modeled from an actual human skull in the collection. Each contributor has successfully quit smoking and drinking.